Lessons in grief

Chris's grandpa passed away on Tuesday evening. It was expected, and there was at least some relief for those closest to him that the tension, the waiting was over. He was gone, it was final. He was a good and great man, and I love him.

Grandpa Wheeler was diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gherig's disease a few weeks ago. One night last week, Chris said something like, "I hope I don't catch it [ALS]." I told him don't be so morbid, don't talk like that please. He answered, "Is it okay if I am? It helps me deal with it."

It was an important learning moment for me. Chris has always been a humorous, sometimes cynnical person who likes to make jokes, even at times that some (namely, his wife) would deem "inappropriate." I'd never thought of it as a coping mechanism. I'm glad he was able to help me see.

Not all of us shed tears that can be wiped away.

For NAma

In honor of Nama and because I think it's a necessary part of modern life, here is the following "survey."

TRUE OR FALSE

Appearance:
I'm short: true
I have scars: true
I tan easily: half true
I burn easily: more than half true
I wish my hair was a different color: false
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color: hmmm, false. but had to think about it.
I wear glasses or contacts: true. And when I'm w/ my sister and we're both wearing them, about 70% more people think we look like sisters. huh.
I'm legally blind without them: false
I have 5 or more piercing: false
I have/had piercing in places besides my ears: false

Relationships:
I miss someone right now: is it possible to miss a pet dog that you don't have yet?
I've gotten divorced: false
I've had a crush on a teacher: false, I'm pretty sure
I've hugged a stranger: true
I like my bubble: hmmm probably false. If there was a way to live w/o it, I would

Embarrassment:
I've laughed so hard I've cried: true
I've glued my hand to something: don't know
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose: true
I've had my pants rip/drop in public: true. let's just say old pleather pants should be worn with caution.
I was born with a disease/impairment: false
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend: true
I've had my wisdom teeth removed: false
I've had a serious surgery: false
I've had chicken pox: true

Experiences:
I've gotten lost in a city: true
I've seen a shooting star: true
I've wished on a shooting star: true...it really was romantic.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas: true
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator: true
I've been to a casino: true, and it was depressing
I've been skydiving: false
I've played spin the bottle: false
I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour: false
I've been in a car crash: true
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue: true
I've sat on a roof top at night: true
I've played chicken: if it counts in the pool, then true
I've played a prank on someone: true
I've ridden in a taxi: true
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show: false
I've eaten Sushi: forever false.

Random:
I own something from Hot Topic: thankfully false
I own something I got on E-Bay: true
I own something from Abercrombie: true, but i didn't buy it
I own something from American Eagle: true
I own something from Anchor Blue: true?

More Random:
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant: false
I watch the news: false...i read and listen to the news
I curse regularly: false
I sing in the shower: true
I'm a morning person: true/false
I have listened to more than 30 CD's in a day: probably false
I've worn pajamas to school: true...especially if you count scrubs as pj's
I know how to shoot a gun: false...unless you count a blackpowder rifle one time on a High Adventure trip

I laugh at my own jokes: true
I am really ticklish: very true
I play video games: very, very false
I'm good at remembering names: false

So, is your life richer for having read this?

Weird wierd

I just realized that I've had this blog for 2 years now. Weird. Or is it wierd?

Just checked dictionary.com. It's weird.

What's with the cats?

So, Chris and I are poor college students. This is certainly not surprising news. As such, we are trying to qualify for this 3-to-1 match savings program...meaning that we have to attend these financial classes to qualify. Our first class was last night. I'd say it was a net negative. That is, my life would have been more enriched by spending those 2 hours in a variety of other locations. The best thing I got out of it was that I will get to write this blog...hopefully a worthy experience for my excellent readership.

The class was taught by a woman I will call Cat Lady. She referred to her cats no less than 20 times during the class. Which called for a lot of creativity (or repetition) on her part, seeing as a program talking about various financial practices doesn't relate even tangentially to how many cats she has, their behaviors, and their lack of preference on her financial decisions. I also struggled to see how her consistent reference to her cats related to my family and our financial habits. After all, unlike cats, Chris and I feed ourselves, can leave the house, and respond to people in a (usually) friendly way.

I recognize that since I am not a "cat person," my views on Cat Lady are going to be biased. With that caveat, I still think that a discussion of financial documents, savvy spending, and avoiding scams could do without the cat-talk. Unless the scammer was trying to con you into having cats as a pet.

Look Mom, I'm a scientist

Last Monday, I defended my Prospectus of Thesis Research to my Committee. Bottom line: I passed (my advisor said I did an "exemplary job"), meaning that they accepted my plan for my thesis research. In essence they said, if you do all of this, we'll give you a degree and a handshake. And one of those funny colored hoods. And my sweet little mom came too. So, it was a big day!

Picture caption: those are mouse lymphoma cells (the circle outlines are their cell membranes, the part of the cell I care about most in my research). The colors represent regions where a fluorescent probe called laurdan is giving off light in a certain way, which tells us how regularly ordered the phospholipids in those regions are. We take the pictures with two-photon excitation scanning microscopy. Which basically means we get to sit in a totally dark room with a huge laser hooked up to a microscope and take lots and lots and lots of pictures until we get ones that look as good as this one. It's pretty awesome. And it means we just have to take trips to the microscope facility in Irvine, California...That's a little slice of the life of Rachel the Grad Student.