Thursday, December 02, 2004

The match...if that's what you call it in pool

So my sister is getting married. My dad has reservations about it...to put it lightly. Last weekend, the tension between my dad and his soon-to-be son in law Reid came to fruition in a most unexpected way: an intense game of pool.

The pool playing began innocently, or rather pathetically, enough. Chris and I played 3 in a row. I aimlessly hit balls around until, inevitably, Chris would scratch on the 8 ball. I won by default. It was the worst of both worlds.

Then somehow, the next players up were my dad and Reid. Reid broke, the game began. And I can't remember a time when my dad looked that nervous. He was literally biting his fingers between each turn. Reid won the first game; my dad was visibly agitated. Dad won the second. Reid won the third. Beth, who had been only mildly interested in the games, looked over and said, "That's my baby!" Dad walked out of the room.

My dad has some issues with letting go. He has all of these dreams and aspirations for his daughters. I guess Reid doesn't live up to those dreams in my dad's head. So he feels like he's losing the Beth he has envisioned to some other version of her. He loves his daughters. But sometimes I think he forgets that love and control are not synonymous, and that ultimately, everyone has to make their own decisions. And yes, you really do love them anyway. No matter what they decide, even if they don't always choose what you think is right. Because really, I think he's wrong in this case. So what he's really losing is a chance to be happy for his daughter, to embrace his new son, and to enjoy the progression of his family.

And I wonder how it will be when my turn rolls around.


4 comments:

Leah said...

Girl. It's gonna just as bad when you get married. But it'll be ok. Guess what? I think you're grrrreat!

Kirsten said...

hey this is eddie-- but it wont let me put that in so you'll have to do with my first name. so I think your really cute. and you have totally become one of my fav ppl at the villa even though we were never in the same ward together. I too think you are great. and dad's are kinda controlling sometimes, it's true.

Tiff said...

I know what you mean. I'm currently discussing my life options with my parents, or rather letting them know what I have chosen. It's going about as well.
He just loves you both so much!

Erika said...

My dad is the same way. Try being the only daughter. Let's just say there will be no dancing at my wedding. The Daddy Daughter thing just ends in tears. Literally tears.